Indonesian Magazine for Big Beautiful People

Adverts continually bombard us with the message that thin is beautiful.

This has put great pressure on many people to lose weight by any means possible.... sometimes with extreme consequences.

Tharie Lilly used to be ashamed of her figure.

“When I was with my friends, I’d always walk behind them. When went go to a restaurant, I’d be sweating all over. I’d always be thinking, “How can I get past this crowd without them noticing me?” I felt like everyone was watching me, that I was the centre of attention. And when I noticed someone  staring at me, I would go up to them and confront them directly and shout,”Why are you looking at me? I don’t want to have a body like this! I hope your children end up with a body like mine!”

At one point, Tharie weighed as much as 150 kilograms.

She was bullied by her friends at school... and the bullying continues... this time by her husband.

“He said that I look like a car, like a bus...and that if anyone was interested in me, he’d exchange me for someone else.”

And she has tried everything to lose weight...

“I tried to commit suicide several times. I thought life was so unfair... I never wanted a body like this. I tried to diet very hard... I lost 50 kilograms in just a few months. I took pills that were dangerous for my health... they were cheap medication. I’m lucky to be alive.”

In the early 2000’s, Tharie met Riri Bogar at an event organised by the X-tra Large Community in Jakarta.

The 38-year-old woman started the group from her clothing store which specialises in large clothing.

“It was in 2007... February the 14th, Valentine’s day. With the community I want to share love and support, so people don’t think that being large is the end of the world. It’s nothing like that. I want people to think positively about themselves. Even though we have extra large bodies, we can still be successful and stay healthy.”

Then both women decided to do something bigger...

“I was a big fan of Ririe,” says Tharie.

“When we met at the event, she offered me  an opportunity to create a free tabloid for extra-large people. In 2012, I quit my job and contacted Ririe to create a magazine, instead of just a tabloid. We didn’t have anything but our determination... and now here we are, we have this magazine.”

The magazine is entitled Balga – a combination of Indonesian words that means “large, cool, fun and stylish”.

The magazine covers a range of issues and includes stories about succesful people who have large bodies, articles on health issues, and make-over pages.

Tharie is now the magazine’s editor-in-chief.

“In this magazine, the models are extra large. Many of them wanted to become models but they lacked confidence. But here, they can become our models. I believe, anyone can be a model. I want to show that they can be a model too; they should have the confidence and the experience. There are more important things than our over-sized bodies. People have to understand our feelings too.”

With 5,000 copies a month, the magazine is on sale in book stores and distributed to members of the X-tra Large community.

Ririe wants to motivate large people, to give them more confidence.

“What people say to us... that we’re fat, ugly and nobody wants you... we remember for years afterwards. If someone hits us, it hurts, but it’s only for a while... for five minutes or so. But when people say bad things... that you’re fat and ugly, or compare us to someone else... it stays in your memory for 20 years or more. Bullying can kill you.”

In one of Jakarta’s malls, a group of extra large women gather for a beauty class... they’re members of the X-tra Large Community.

Tharie’s among the crowd... looking beautiful and confident... with her husband now accepting her for who she is.

“In the past, people mocked me and I used to get angry. But after joining the community, I can control my emotions better,” says Tia, one of the members.

“I know that I’m not the only one with this problem, there are many friends out there. We share stories, on how to handle people when we’re being bullied or when people laugh at us. We also learn how to dress properly here.”

Fransiska is now ready to embrace the world.

“Our body size is not an obstacle for us to achieve anything... as long as we’re confident in our ability and keep trying.”